So, I have just returned from Puebla, Mexico, a city of a few million people on a plateau southeast of Mexico City. I was there to attend the international conference for the Association for the Advancement of Gestalt Therapy (AAGT). Every day, as I walked the beautiful streets of the historic downtown on the way to the convention center, I passed by dozens and perhaps hundreds of doorways like this one. They hold large, exquisite doors, made of wood and stone and sometimes even copper or bronze. There are doorways that must be at least 15 feet tall with smaller doors cut into them, because the full size ones are probably too unwieldy to open on a regular basis.
As I wandered past these doors each day, I felt as though I was moving through a city full of potential. Many of these doors open into inner courtyards, revealing a whole other world. Giant marble or stone fountains rest gracefully in these tiled courtyards. Small trees and large flowering shrubs grow up in the sunlight coming through the open roofs. Balconies look down on the courtyard from inner apartments, government offices, or church libraries (many of the buildings in Puebla are/were related to the Catholic church). Vines climb up trellises, children peek out, old women slap masa slabs to make tortillas, men in suits talk briskly about the business at hand. Worlds nested within worlds, mysterious parts that when revealed make up a wonderfully complex whole.
Being at the Gestalt conference, I felt the promise of doorways in a personal way as well. I had the great privilege of talking informally and at length with some well-seasoned Gestalt therapists - Erv Polster, Bud Feder, Lynne Jacobs, Ruella Frank, and other folks you've never heard of. In these conversations, I felt doorways opening to the next steps in my life. I've been doing part-time Gestalt training here in the Bay Area for about three years, and am ready to take the next steps of both deepening my own therapeutic journey as well as launching into practice. This conference helped me to gather the courage to go further along this journey of self-discovery as well as honing my ability to offer my deepest, brightest truth to the world.
I realize that a brief description of Gestalt may be helpful here. Gestalt therapy is an approach that is rooted in the here and now. That is, whatever is appearing in your mind and body (psycho-somatic) is your reality in this moment, and therefore is the only place to begin (as opposed to theoretical anything). Through a deeper awareness of old stories that we are carrying in our bodies and minds, we can begin to make our present more flexible, dynamic, and fresh while decreasing the likelihood that we will continue to repeat old behavior patterns that are no longer serving us. Increased awareness is the goal - from there, our life will inevitably feel fresher and more exciting. We'll less often feel like we're living the same movie over and over, and instead have more contact with the amazing, ever-changing world around us all the time.
My training to practice Gestalt is also a journey into myself. I uncover new gems from time to time, nuggets of insight that I can carry around and chew on. Mainly, though, I simply notice myself and others more, with an eye towards avoiding the Meaning Stories that we all so often put on ourselves and others. Things I've done in the past don't mean that I'm a good or bad person. They have vanished in time, and I may have feelings about them that I can work with in the present. Things other people have done or are doing don't necessarily mean they are good or bad people, either. Instead of putting a meaning story onto what they do, I can practice observing the world outside and simultaneously observing my own embodied reactions. Some examples: When he is loud and red-faced, I clench my jaw. When she talks about that, I think she is missing the point. When I hear political debate, I just know that the conservatives are failing to understand reality. Noticing them is the crucial (and some might say sufficient) step in changing ourselves from habituated reactions to fresh perspectives (like perhaps I don't know as much as I think I do about How the World Is). All it takes is time and practice, lots of practice. And a good Gestalt practitioner (like me) to help you out :-)
What is next for me? A trip out to the east coast with Jess, leaving in the beginning of June. We'll be settling in New York state, in a town called Mt. Tremper. It's near Woodstock, not too far from New York or eastern Pennsylvania. We'll be staying in a little house by the river, so you should come visit. My journey there will unfold by contacting some local Gestalt trainers to continue my work, while keeping an eye towards co-creating community with a focus on healing and heartfelt connection. I'm looking forward to gardening, working with my hands, and helping everyone wake up, as much as possible.
What does the next doorway open onto? If I can stay with the not-knowing, avoid the meaning-making and the grasping, then whatever it is will be much more available to me. Then I can awaken to the profound, infinitely rich beauty of how things are.
