cold weather is creeping back in, without fanfare or being too pushy because it is eminent and inevitable. the trees bend gently in the colder winds, while the leaves twist lightly and twitch in the late morning sunshine. there is no resisting it, just like last and next winter. cold, dry, and bright for now, headed for cold and wet in a month or so.
I remember it, and feel strange at needing to remember it. It has been years since I've been around the bright, simple reds, yellows, ochres, oranges, rusts, and golds. The smells of dead plants and cold earth are sweet to me, perhaps because I've glossed over my childhood memories and carefully removed the bits about cold hands and feet, the flu, and shorter days...
For now, I'm basking in the sun coming through the window, not dozing but wide awake and dreaming of nothing in particular. I know the other side of the glass is cold - I don't need to go outside and prove it. Many cups of tea keep me warm inside, and I wear my scarf indoors to the amusement of my Canadian friends.
Where am I headed? Inwards, tunneling and burrowing in search of roots. I eat pumpkins, beets, apples, carrots, and other earthy vegetables. Brown spices color the soup that steams in front of me, giving me strength to wonder where my life is headed. I find it takes strength to wonder, to let go of my preconceived options, to recognize the fears that steer me, to see where my attachments really lie and why, to see what visions of the future I cling to with or without reason, to find out where my heart longs to go or stay...
May you be finding autumn warmth, wrapping the blankets closer to you as you reflect on the last year and where the next one will take you
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