Dwelling in Connection

Our generation, the young people and the old people not yet settled in their ways, are in a beautiful and interesting position.  We are seeking answers about how to thrive in a society that is crumbling and a world that we're destroying...

Immediately, you may respond with a strong feeling welling up inside.  "Society isn't crumbling!  The world isn't being destroyed!  What do those even mean?"  I'm unsure how to measure them in a good way.  When I read about the ecosystem(s) of the planet, I see that we are directly and indirectly making big changes and disruptions.  The trends seem to be destroying the diversity of life, converting natural resources into hazardous wastes (carbon dioxide, trash, nuclear waste, soot, etc), and rendering the whole system less stable all the time.  These all run counter to the trends of life sustenance in which we evolved.  These broad conceptualizations are how I approach thinking about the modern world.

We seem to be engaged in a similar unpleasant degradation in our society (societies) as well.  There are more of us working more hours to earn relatively less money that we did a generation ago.  We are dismantling the social structures through which we are supposed to care for each other.  Everything from public libraries to public healthcare are under the knife.  We continue to add more people to the planet all the time, with big organizations like the UN and the CIA trying to estimate how many people there will be at some point in the near future.  8 billion, 9 billion?  Whew - I think it feels crowded already at just over 7 billion.  Our money game, which entails placing arbitrary monetary value on essential aspects of life like food, water, shelter, clean air, and (I will contend) access to the wilds, is wearing terribly thin both in the U.S. and abroad.  With the situation of the haves and have-nots growing dimmer all the time, can we say that this system is inherently functional and just needs tweaking?  That does not resonate with me, but feel free to email and we can chat more if you want.

How do we proceed in life when the systems in which we operate are so broken and poisonous?  I think it takes a lot of energy to work against these complex systems full of inertia that weave through most of the world.  How do we admit what is happening, as best we can understand it, and keep going on?

I think our current predicament has something in common with first generation Americans, born of parents who immigrated here from their home countries.  Their children, the first generation born in America, grow up in a world that is very different from their parents' homes.  Their parents may have brought certain values, ethics, and attachments with them that are rooted in the country from which they came - Vietnam, Poland, Guatemala, China, wherever.  Growing up in America, especially in the second half of the 20th century, their children experienced choices, options, and promises that their parents never had.  They can marry someone not from their ethnic group.  They can live alone, or even with other people of the opposite sex to whom they are not married.  They can choose from a huge number of professions and career options.  They are navigating their lives as they live out these and many other choices that their parents perhaps never had.

This freedom can be tough.  What if your choices run counter to the REALLY strong ethnic/religious upbringing of your matriarchal grandmother, who weeps and prays at the dinner table every day that you haven't met a nice boy of the same ethnicity as your family?  Don't laugh (or laugh if you want) - this stuff happens.  You can choose any career you want, as long as it's being an engineer, preferably mechanical, and going to school for it in the same city where you grew up.  You can be as independent as you want as long as you live in the same house with your parents after college and devote much of your non-work hours attending to their needs.  So many choices!  What do we do if we love our parents and grandparents and yet want different things for ourselves?

Our generation now faces similar clashes with the culture at large, and with our older relatives too, regardless of ethnic traditions.  What do you do when you are ensconced in a capitalist culture, yet see that this system is our vehicle of choice for continuing the exploitation of each other and nature?  You can write a book critiquing it, and make some money for yourself as well as the publishing company - one of the top five who control more than half the market.  You can get a sandwich board sign and stand on the corner of 42nd St in Manhattan, telling people about the intricacies of the broken system.  That might get you actually kidnapped and institutionalized at your parents' request.  You can attempt the Warren Buffett - make boatloads of money in the system and then reach out to some of the cultural critics with indictments of how the rich get away with murder.  Not that his criticisms are invalid, but think first about how many millionaires and billionaires get that money and continue to engage in a deep and radical critique of the system.  How will you fare? 

The only way I know to live in opposition to the system we are engulfed in is to find others who resonate with your mind and spirit.  It is critically important to prevent your own slide into excuses and hypocrisy, or to prevent insanity as you engage in cultural critique alone.  You do not have to go find a commune, ashram, or monastery (though if that's your thing, call me up and we'll talk 'cause I love them).  A yoga class is good.  Join a writer's group.  Knit with other knitters.  Volunteer at a bike repair workshop.  I promise you, deeply and truly from my own experience, that when we connect with other kindred spirits in any way, we garner energy to live our lives with more awareness and courage.  Both of these are key to being heartfelt and authentic in seeking to change the world. 

It takes a lot of energy to make it through our modern lives.  We are overwhelmed by choice in every product we buy at nearly every store.  If we drive, we're overwhelmed by more traffic and higher costs of gas, tolls, car payments, insurance, etc.  If we watch TV, we're overwhelmed by the frequent and fast cutaways in the programs as well as the advertisements.  If we read the Times, we're overwhelmed by the volume of inanity and hate in the world news and the U.S. elections.  If we acquire gadgets and knick-knacks like most Americans, our home is overwhelming with clutter and chaos.  If - and by if I mean "when" - we use facebook, we're overwhelmed by bits of content clamoring for our attention regardless of its utility value.  I know you've got to watch the video of a kitten tumbling out of a cardboard box, but it's just a distraction.  Don't do it - I promise you'll feel better.

We've created these systems and we perpetuate them.  It takes so much energy that it's no wonder we have difficulty getting out to do the things we love and letting our minds fully engage the world around us. 

When you do the things you love, the things that help you to awaken, you get more energy.  I promise.  100% of the time.  It never fails.  There is something about authentic encounters between your soul and what you love, what speaks the truth for you, that calls up energy from inside.  If you make it to the 7 a.m. yoga class, you will feel better when you come out, even if you had to wake up an extra hour early to get there.  When you knit with nice folks at the yarn shop, you will come out feeling more energized (as long as you like knitting), even if you just sit there with them clicking away on your 16" circular #8.  When you sit in meditation at the zen center, if that's your thing, you come out feeling energized by the 40 minutes spent in a dim room saying nothing to the person next to you in a black robe with a shaved head. 

Human connection is the key to revolution.  It begins with the courage to go out and meet other people who like or love the things that you love.  The path will become clear from there, I promise.  You do not need to know what comes next.  In fact, you cannot know what comes next.  If your spirit calls out for it, perhaps you will be the person to help resurrect the Black Panther party.  Perhaps you'll find a way to wrestle tax money from the hands of rich so that we stand a chance of being able to take care of each other.  Truth be told, I suspect that heartfelt, relentless contact with the world will inevitably lead you to do more to take care of your fellow humans and the ecosystem.  I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is something hollow behind the devil's advocate saying, "What if my heartfelt truth is to steal lollipops from kids and cut down old-growth redwood trees?"  I don't lose sleep over it when I continue to encounter joy from so many people seeking real human connection. 

Your energy will come from this contact - the Gestalt word for authentic encounter with the world around you, including other people.  Contact is inevitable when we are heartfelt and awake in the present moment, and this comes from being with people doing what you also love to do.  As you continue to cultivate contact, you will have authentic encounters with everything in the world, because there are no real boundaries or divides in the world.  When you talk about injustices that speak to your heart, you will find the people who want to talk with you.  When you knit scarves for charity, you will inevitably have the chance to consider why some people are poor and some people are old rich white men.  As long as you come to these encounters with an open heart, you will keep reaching and growing as a human being.

This is the formula for success.  I do not know what success looks like - be very wary of anyone who tells you that he or she knows.  Through contact, we are simply able to explore the crisis in which we find ourselves in 2012.  (Hint: it is not the end of some misunderstood ancient calendar, but the real prospect of a degrading world.)  We will find love, sorrow, joy, tribulations, and peace as stepping stones along the way.  It will be a journey as fresh, authentic, and full of possibility as each and every moment to which we awaken.