weld metal, carry water

I flip the big switch on the arc welder and it hums to life, generating 65 amps of current for all my welding needs. One cable comes out of the unit and clamps onto the piece - a 4 by 6 gate that is my first welding project. This cable is the ground wire, ready to carry the electrical current away from the piece. The other cable ends in a big insulated spring clip that holds the rod I use to weld. I have a long steel rod clamped and ready to go, about 12 inches long with a green coating to keep the weld from oxidizing as I go along. I flip my super dark visor down to protect my eyes from the intense UV light generated while welding, and pull on a large pair of heavy leather gloves.

I strike an arc - touching the rod to the workpiece to start the electricity flowing through - and begin to form a small puddle of molten steel about the size of a dime. Moving along the seam I continue to slowly swirl the pool as I advance forward, melting the next eighth of an inch while the tail end of the pool solidifies behind me. It's a bit of a trick to keep the rod from sticking to the piece, not burn a hole all the way through my steel tubing, and to really melt both sides of the seam I'm trying to join so as to get a strong connection. I'm certainly an amateur, but this weld is going to come out fine.

My hands are shaking a bit, and I wonder if that is from too much concentration and tightening of my muscles. I think about carrying five gallon buckets of water last night to irrigate some young oak trees on the Stanford campus - maybe my arms are just tired. Maybe I have the same shakes that my grandfather had for most of the time I can remember. He had mild shakes that come with hands anxious to do work - fidgeting, rubbing together, tapping, playing with whatever is at hand while looking for the next useful task to do. Practictioners of medicine sometimes call them "essential tremors" if you shake and there is no particular cause that they can pinpoint (Parkinsons, some kind of epilepsy or palsy, etc.). I think my grandfather had essential tremors of a different kind. He had the kind that came with the inertia to stay in motion his whole life, and define himself as being useful. Perhaps when he came all the way to rest is when he gave up on living.

I think I understand his identification with being useful - it's certainly a significant motivator in my own life. I like to stay in motion, doing and building and dancing and running around and cleaning and secretly taking care of little things that make life wonderful. I like to plant and water trees, weld gates, dig big holes, bike up mountains, watch bamboo grow, clean my room, remind my friends that they are great, and cook spicy food. I want to go through my life taking care of other people. I think it's a worthy cause. In world where everything in our culture seems to be going faster and with less direction all the time, I enjoy slowing down to appreciate the view and help out my fellow travelers on this journey.