Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Gathering for travels

I'm taking off on my journey tomorrow, eastward bound on the Amtrak train headed for Denver, then Buffalo, then to Guelph, Ontario by bike. I'm looking forward to listening - to the sound of the big diesel engine, the sound of silence in the wilderness above the Great Lakes, the sounds inside my mind as I sit in 10 days of meditation, the sound of the smile of an old friend. I'm not at all sure what I'm listening for, but I'm hoping that I'll know it when I hear it.

Sometimes I just need to take a step back, 'cause I'm too wrapped up in my own life to see straight. I get too invested in an idea, a vision, a visionary, my own worldview, or whatever. Sometimes I'm too ready to divide the world into black and white, all or none, the perfect or the fallen, the Right Path or some Other Path. This summer I'm looking to chill, and remember that it really is only life after all. I want to develop a clearer sense of what I want, and look at my life as a large selection of choices. They are all possibilities, all with infinitely different possible outcomes, all full of love and sadness and learning and failing and succeeding.

The world is a crazy place, rich and swirling and blending and dissolving with climate change, genocide, meditation retreats, fresh fruits in the summer, really fast computers, alienation, blind faith, innocent children, hopeful lovers, technofixes, silent snowy nights, self-help workshops, digital music, dancing, and everything else... What are we meant to do? I just want to be good to other people, good to myself, and good to the next generation of children growing up. How can we help each other?

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