that old journey of a thousand miles

Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong time, or the wrong place, or some combination of those two. I just feel out of sync with the culture I see around me. Why do I think that?

I feel like in our modern American culture, we rarely value leading life at a slower, less frenetic pace in order to reflect on what we really want in life. Sometimes I think I'm crazy because I like the idea of a 34 hour work week like in Italy or Norway, with 4 or more weeks of vacation every year. If you read The Economist each week (don't worry, I just browse it every once in a while so I can throw stones), you'd think that any group of people or culture that isn't willing to work more hours at more unpleasant tasks to outcompete others is going straight to hell in a handbasket. What would we do without constant competition? We'd lose innovation and efficiency, and some other than the fittest will survive. Can you believe it? I think I'll be okay with a little less innovation and efficiency if we also don't make poor people work more jobs and more hours while they get fewer real dollars, increasingly inadequate healthcare, and a huge debt burden facilitated by a consumer-driven culture and extractive (predatory) lending. Whew! Had to get that off my chest - it seems to bubble to the surface in me every few months, and I don't like the anger any more than you do. So...

I'm looking to create a life where I value time, a relaxed pace, plenty of activity that allows me to reflect, loving freely (different than free love :-), inner peace, and significant amounts of built-in free time in my life ('cause you all know that it fills up even if you create it, and if you don't you end up really behind). If you a lot of these things in your neighborhood, let me know and I'll come buy property there with you. If not, how can we create them? I know that they exist in all of us, and I know that we are all trying. I'm less interested in bashing the world than I am in saying that I've been watching more TV and print media in the past week, and honestly it's freaking me out a bit :-) I think I need to cut back.

I'll offer up a secret dream of mine - to be a reference librarian in a small town somewhere in quiet state or province. Who knows what the reality will be, but I imagine it to be very satisfying - really set hours (no overtime self-sacrifice), helping people find information they want, quiet work environment, I could read whenever work was slow, and probably keep my blood pressure down my whole life. In reality it might be dull, but maybe some day I'll give it a try. Oh, and I really want pleasant coworkers for lively, intelligent conversation throughout the day.

I don't know what to do with this desire for a quiet, slow-paced life. Where can I find it? Who else wants it? Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll never get it, or I'll get it at the cost of being close to friends who are leading more fast-paced, very full lives. Perhaps I should stop yakking about it and try it out. That seems to work well for most things that I sit around being neurotic about - so if I can muster up the courage, it'll be a great experiment of my life.

Signing off on a cloudy day, warm and humid and full of possibilities. Thinking of you all...

"All actual life is encounter." - Martin Buber